I want to offer you this week two prayers from the book Guerrillas of Grace by Ted Loder. When I read them, I find myself caught up in hope. Hope that I will one day be as the poems describe. That God in his wisdom and kindness is working out in me the process to make me like Him. As cliché as it sounds, that hope is what we encounter in prayer. It’s why we pray in the first place, that by coming close to Jesus we might be changed. And that is what I find in the poetry Ted Loder writes.
As you read, let the words wash over you, but pay attention to what emerges in you. What words come to mind? What pictures are conjured for you? What feelings do you encounter? Where do catch glimpses of God? Do you feel drawn to Him? Do you feel distant from Him? And, finally, where do these poems leave you?
Listen to Me Under My Words[1]
O God,
I come to you now
as a child to my Mother,
out of the cold which numbs
into the warm who cares.
Listen inside me,
under my words
where the shivering is,
in the fears
which freeze my living,
in the angers
which chafe my attending,
in the doubts
which chill my hoping,
in the events
which shrivel my thanking,
in the pretenses
which stiffen my loving.
Listen to me, Lord,
as a Mother,
and hold me warm,
and forgive me.
Soften my experiences
into wisdom,
my pride
into acceptance,
my longing
into trust,
And soften me
into love
and to others
and to you.
Guide Me into an Unclenched Moment[2]
Gentle me,
Holy One,
into an unclenched moment,
a deep breath,
a letting go
of heavy expectancies,
of shriveling anxieties,
of dead certainties,
that, softened by the silence,
surrounded by the light,
and open to the mystery,
I may be found by the wholeness,
upheld by the unfathomable,
entranced by the simple,
and filled with the joy
that is you.
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[1] Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle, 20th Anniversary Ed. (Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Books, 2005), 22.
[2] Loder, Guerrillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle, 23.
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